Free Download: 3 Hidden Obstacles Standing In Your Way Of Pregnancy Success
It can be difficult to watch a friend or loved one struggle with fertility struggles or treatments. You want your friend to be happy and have the family they are dreaming of, but also want to respect their privacy. You may not know what to say, be afraid of saying the wrong thing, or simply don’t want to offend them with questions.
Many women struggling to get pregnant feel isolated in their pain with a fear that no one understands what they are going through and would likely welcome the support of a friend or family member. Here are some ways you can show them that you care and want to be helpful.
Related Read: Connecting With Your Partner Through Fertility Struggles
Invite them to share their experience – A gentle invitation to share what they are going through, emotionally, mentally, or physically, might be just what they need. Offer to listen and ask thoughtful questions about their treatment and how they are managing the stress. Resist the urge to offer advice or comparisons unless the request it.
Make a care package – Show your friend you are thinking of them by creating a care package of items that would bring them comfort. Include items you know your friend would appreciate but some ideas might be herbal tea, cozy socks, a journal, or a book.
Plan a date – Invite your friend out to lunch or a movie to take their mind off of their stress. Offer to make the plans yourself to take any pressure off of them. Be open to discussing their struggle if they want or keep the conversation to something more lighthearted. Follow their lead.
Note important dates – If your friend shares that an important appointment or procedure is coming up, make a note of the date. Reaching out to let them know you are thinking of them could brighten a very stressful day for them. Remind them that you are there if they would like to talk or share the experience with you.
Related Read: Strategies for Processing Pregnancy Loss
Be patient and understanding – They may not respond to your invitations right away for any number of reasons – such as physical discomfort, busy with appointments, mental exhaustion, or just not in the mood to be social. Be patient with your friend and let them know you want to be there for them when they are ready.
Here are a few examples of what NOT to do:
Don’t offer unsolicited advice – resist the temptation and focus on listening.
Don’t compare their circumstances to anyone else’s – each fertility diagnosis and treatment plan is different. What worked for someone else may not be an option for your friend.
Don’t say anything that starts with ‘At least’ – this phrasing minimizes their personal struggle.
Don’t assume they don’t want to hear about your children – you can be sensitive to their situation while also including them in your joy.
Related Read: Shifting to a Positive Mindset
If you are feeling overwhelmed, stressed or lonely while trying to get pregnant, managing fertility treatments, or considering donor conception… let’s talk. I would love to help you navigate this challenging road and make the journey more positive. Schedule a chat today and follow Positive Fertility on Instagram for daily support and inspiration!
