There was maybe a time in your life when the holidays were a favorite time of year. Exchanging gifts, playing games, spending time with family and reconnecting with friends are all part of the season and for most, it’s filled with joy.

When you are struggling to get pregnant or navigating IVF treatments, this time of year becomes a bit more complicated. The holidays tend to be largely focused on children, which is difficult when you so desperately want a child of your own. We see a lot of family and friends who might be curious about your family plans and ask questions that could trigger some feelings. It’s also a time when we see engagement or pregnancy announcements and while you are happy for your friends and celebrate their good news, you dream of being the one with something to announce.

I put together this collection of strategies to support you through the holidays. A list of tools and ideas that can make this time easier for you and maybe even help you reclaim the joy of the most wonderful time of the year.

Disconnect From Social Media

During the holidays social media feeds are flooded with perfect family photos, special announcements and displays of celebration that can be triggering when you are emotionally vulnerable. This could be a good time to take a healthy break from social media and consciously spend that time focused on self-care like exercise, meditation, or rest.  

Have a Toolbox of Calming Strategies
When you anticipate feeling overwhelmed or anxious, be armed with a handful of solutions you know to be effective to counteract negative feelings. As soon as you feel the troubling emotions you can choose a calming strategy and use that to return to a more positive mindset.

Some great examples are breathing exercises, a mediation practice, an acupuncture session, or connecting with a trusted friend or your IVF coach. Know ahead of time what works best for you and be ready to use that practice when you are starting to feel anxious.

Related Read: Your Fertility Treatment Toolbox

Set Your Boundaries

Take some time to think about your boundaries and how to protect your feelings. For example, give yourself permission to decline invitations that could potentially make you uncomfortable. Could the event be triggering for you? Will it include a lot of young children or couples that are expecting? Are you concerned about unsolicited advice or uncomfortable questions? 

Prepare in advance by deciding how much you want to share and who you want to share with.

Carve Out Time For Yourself Or With Your Partner

The holidays can be busy and overwhelming with social engagements and family obligations. Make sure you reserve time that is just for you or with your partner. Scheduling downtime for self-care or couple time can recharge some of your energy needed for the less relaxing scenarios.

Related Read: Connecting With Your Partner During IVF

Prepare Your Responses To The Awkward Questions

Knowing ahead of time how you want to respond could give you a better sense of control of any conversations that you anticipate might make you uncomfortable. Keep in mind, you don’t owe anyone an explanation or update on your family building, but it helps to have some responses prepared.

Here are some examples:

“We aren’t discussing our family plans publicly right now.”

“It’s been taking longer than we had hoped.”

“When there’s news to share, we will let everyone know.”

“We’re working on it.” (give them a wink for some extra snark)

Take charge of your season

Decide that you are in control of this holiday season. Create a list of the scenarios that are potentially stressful and either decide to skip them this year or figure out how to make them more manageable. Planning ahead of time will give you extra confidence. Then, list everything  that you are looking forward to and bring you joy. Make those the priority and focus of your season.

Related Read: Effective Self-Care During An IVF Cycle

I hope you find these strategies and tools helpful to support you through the holiday season. Know that it may still be a challenging time so it’s important to allow yourself the space to validate and experience your emotions and feelings.  

This might be the perfect time to start thinking about working with an IVF coach.  Knowing you are starting a new strategy for getting pregnant in the new year can offer the confidence you need to find hope this holiday season.  You can set up your first FREE call today: Discovery Call Calendar.  

I can’t wait to hear from you.