Free Download: 3 Hidden Obstacles Standing In Your Way Of Pregnancy Success

When a couple is faced with the challenges of IVF or fertility treatments, the stress and emotion can be overwhelming.  Medical treatment of any kind can be taxing but struggling to get pregnant has an added emotional effect that everyone manages differently.  In addition to the information, tests, treatment options and medications, the financial burden is stressful and there is no guarantee treatment will be successful.  While navigating something as complicated as fertility treatment it’s crucial for a couple to communicate and support one another, but often the emotions can be complicated making connections difficult. 

Related Read: How To Pay for IVF

Couples often have different coping styles; one partner may be highly emotional releasing stress through tears or talking, while the other may be more analytical and guarded.   In this circumstance it is important for both partners to respect one another’s differences and be supportive of their needs.  Discuss how you can both express how you are feeling and be specific about how you would like to be supported. Try not to assume your partner knows what you need from them.

Intimacy may suffer when a couple is managing this kind of stress.  While trying to conceive, making love may morph to exclusively timed intercourse without any opportunity for spontaneity, physical connection, and playful affection.  Hormone treatments can wreak havoc on a woman’s sex drive and make it difficult for her to be intimate with her partner.  The tension may lead the male partner to feel rejected and the woman to feel guilty and uncomfortable.  It’s a mess. 

Among the stressors for many couples struggling to get pregnant is a sense of guilt.  If the cause of infertility lies primarily with one partner or the other, the overwhelming feeling that there is something wrong with them and that the problem is their fault can be overwhelming.  They can be told over and over that they shouldn’t feel that way but may be a feeling they cannot easily turn off and should be managed gently.  It’s helpful to validate the partner’s feelings and guilt and reassuring them there is no blame.

Here are some ideas to help you work together as a couple to support your relationship while trying to conceive:

• Dedicate some time to give each other the opportunity to talk about their feelings.  Be respectful of each other’s feelings, even if they are different than your own.  Make this time judgement free and a safe space for sharing their thoughts.  
• Find ways to manage stress.  Plan time that is free from infertility discussion.  Find a hobby you can do together that helps distract you both from treatment, even if just for a short while. 
• Prioritize stress relief with and without your partner.  One person may find yoga helpful while the other prefers practicing their musical instrument or going for a run.  Embrace the activities you can do on your own. 
  
  Related Read: Can Acupuncture Help You Get Pregnant
• Seek out professional counseling.  Sometimes, the best solution for overcoming a couple’s stress of infertility treatment is speaking with a therapist.  The opportunity to talk about your feelings and emotions in a way where you feel heard and not judged can be immensely helpful.  You may need one session to get thoughts off your chest and have a great cry or several sessions to work through grief and pain.  Consider both private sessions and sessions together as a couple to help break through any communication barriers. 
• Identify their love language and show your appreciation in a way that will mean most to them.  If you don’t already know their language, it’s a good time to ask and talk about ways you would both like to show your love.  Learn more about the 5 Love Languages here. 

Related Read: 5 Ways To Take Control of Your Fertility

Fertility struggles can be difficult on both partners, but with some effort you can work together to navigate the journey as a team.  My private coaching sessions are a great opportunity to identify ways to reconnect will be the most effective for you. Set up your free consult call today.

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